March Musings

Hello Dear Readers,

Life has been moving at the speed of sound and I am just now able to hear the whisperings to slow down. I am back in the US after 13 years of being in Korea, and the transition has been, well, it’s been. I miss it everyday. Things here are the same but different. Some generalized realizations: Tipping culture is a terrible way for people to earn money. Food portions are nuts. Food in supermarkets is so cheap. Gas is ridiculous. It’s nice to not have to look at the Air Quality Index every morning, and divine to wake up and complete my Morning Pages by the pool.

I also get a chance to be The Aunt for a year. Which is pretty fun, I must say. I took my niece out driving and gave her pointers on how to drive safely. I have conversations with my nephews and niece that are meaningful, and I get to show two of them some newer things going on in K-Pop.

When I was planning to come back home, I was very conscious of the fact that Mercury Retrograde would be occurring in April, with the preshadow starting around the end of March. i wanted to make the announcement that I was back in the states on April 1st—but with MR, that’s a no-go. One thing I failed to see was that i would be coming home to a household containing a Virgo mother and a Gemini stepfather—both signs ruled by Mercury. Did I mention that I’m also a Virgo. So to say communication has been off even in this preshadow is a serious understatement. That being said, I have been doing my best to take a step back when miscommunications arise, and do my best to say what I mean and mean what I say. We have two more times that Mercury will be in retrograde this year (July 15th - preshadow - September 12th post shadow; Nov 7th - preshadow - Jan 3, 2025 post shadow).

Some may say that having this on one’s calendar is sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy, and that I am basically asking the Universe to put me in that vibration—but to that I say, well, maybe. But it’s still good to not tempt fate and book a trip during. a MR (Did that…got stuck in Greece for 23 hours), and who wants that? Not me.

Anyway~ my office is nearly set up and it will be more so in the beginning of April. We’re still figuring out a sofa bed situation so people who visit can have a place to stay but the things I like are not the same as what my mom likes. We’ll have to seek out a compromise or a concession.

Until then, I’ll be starting my writing schedule and working on this new novel—the one I’ve been wanting to write for a while. So that’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. You know, like life~

Until then. Until then.

~c.m.

November Musings~

Hey.

Life. Amirite?

As 2023 is drawing to a close, I have come to a lot of realizations. Some personal. Some professional. All necessary to catapult me into 2024 and beyond. And as I write this, I am cognizant of the fact that today, November 20th, will be the last November 20th I’ll spend in Seoul for a while. Next spring I’ll be moving back to the states and I am equal parts excited, terrified, and exhausted.

To be fair, I foolishly haven’t emotionally prepared myself and have been ignoring all of the wisps of emotions of the move—and they only get released when I’m watching television. I have a list of things I want to do before leave and I haven’t done them—it’s like the expiration date on my visa here isn’t real—but it is. It really is.

But to also be fair, I have made plans to start therapy in January before I stop working. So maybe I’m channeling Whitney Houston and I’m “saving all my love for you (therapy).” Who’s to say?

Summer in Seoul was hot. Shocker. Inspiration was waning and I found things difficult to write. I was basically existing.

In September I took a brief trip to the states to see the Shea Family, and tell them I’m moving back. While staying in Vermont, I realized that I really didn’t want to move back to the states but I know that I need this. This is the necessary step for me to be where I need to be. I know this is the only way. So that’s why I am able to tuck my ribbons under my helmet and be a good soldier. It’s temporary, ephemeral. Yet vital.

In October/November, one of my favorite humans on this planet came to visit and it was glorious to have her back here. No amount of time with T will ever be enough, but I am grateful for all the laughter, talks, and food we inhaled. One of the reasons why I know I can handle this move is because she will be a lot closer to visit from Florida than Korea. Until then, we’ll still send each other TikToks on our latest and past hyper fixations, and send memes/reels on IG. And that in and of itself is comforting.

Maybe it would be better to express all of the emotions before I leave so that I will not have any residual ones left to yearn for when I move back (before I can move forward).

Fast forward to now. I’ve found a spark of inspiration recently and my love for words have started a fire within me. Hence why I am able to even able to make my goal of writing a journal entry this month when I couldn’t do it after May.

So this is where we are. Kind of where we started. And yet, not.

Onward.

cm.

The Road to Hell...

is paved with good intentions. Or so the saying goes. 

But here it is, May 21st, and I am only as far on writing as when I last wrote a journal post. So why? Why am I not doing the thing I so long to do?

To be fair, I’ve been researching, or rather, allowing information to wash over me to help me with my big magic. I listened to Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic and was inspired to rediscover my Why in writing. I realized I was stuck. I had one story in my head, but I had nothing else…and I was afraid to start writing again because I had nothing else. Because what happens when I am finished with the said project and have no other stories left inside me? I know that sounds so incorrect, but it was a fear—irrational, yes. But still a fear. 

Another reason for my lack of writing is that my sister visited for three weeks, and we traveled a bit within Korea. And while on a plane flying from Busan to Jeju Island, I was listening to music, and suddenly, a scene came into my brain…something else to write about. I wrote down my idea in my phone’s notes app, and boom. The irrational fear of not being able to be inspired to write something else was gone. The dragon was slain.

Now, this is not to say that I have started writing again, but I am on my way. I’ve left the front door and I’m sitting in the driver’s seat, about to put the key in the ignition. I just need to remember to open the garage door first.

February Musings

Hello Dear Readers,

Can you believe that it has already been a month since I last updated you? Me neither. I decided to put “Write Journal Post” on my google calendar as well as my Starbucks planner and voila! I did it. Go me.

I haven’t done much in terms of writing, but that is because work has decided to flip our curriculum and we’re still relearning how to do everything—it will be better in the long run, but right now my energy is focused on helping my teachers stay on track.

I did, however, start putting together a writing schedule, gym schedule, and grading schedule that will help me use my time wisely (hello, Virgo!) and the only thing left to do is implement it. I start it next week. I’m excited, but also rather antsy to get back in the game of, well, everything.

As far as morning routines have been going, I’ve been pretty consistent with my Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Journal. It certainly helps to format my day and get the thoughts out of my head. I’ve also gifted myself some new face cream from Clinique to help out with my dry skin~

In other news, my sister, Melissa is coming to visit me at the end of March until mid April and we had a four hour conversation about what she wants to see and do here. She’s been to Seoul twice but this is the first time we’re going to Busan and Jeju Island (for both of us), so there was a ton of things to sort out. We got most of it sorted—just have to wait to purchase the KTX tickets as they only go on sale a month in advance.

I’ve finished reading two books thus far in 2023: Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street and a debut novel from Sumi Hahn called The Mermaid from Jeju. Cisneros’ novel was on my “To Read” list fo far too long—probably 12 years. It made me miss Chicago a lot, and inspired me to read more books set in the Windy City. If you haven’t read it, I recommend it—it reminded me of the power words can have. It’s short—but not necessarily a light read, there’s some beauty in the heaviness of Esperanza’s neighborhood for sure.

The second novel, The Mermaid from Jeju is historical fiction that takes place between 1948 on Jeju Island and Philadelphia in 2001. The way that Hahn weaves the story was satisfying, yet she knew exactly when to build the tension with one set of characters and then flip to another set. All my questions were answered by the end, and I was gutted yet relieved when I reached the last page.

I have recently begun a tradition of buying my stepmother my favorite books I’ve read during the year. It started last last Christmas when I bought her Where the Crawdads Sing by Della Owens. Next I bought her a few books (most I read, one I didn’t): The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, Elenor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman, and Taylor Jenkins Reid’s The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. The latter I haven’t read (yet) but it came highly recommended by a friend who has recently started her own book channel on Youtube. I trust her judgment. :)

Anywho~ that’s all the updates I have. Hopefully when I write again in a month, I’ll be well on my way with my new routines.

Until then~

Intentions and a Wrap Up~

Happy New Year, Everyone~

We’re about 14 days into 2023 and I feel like I’m just now able to breathe. After spending the first two weeks for the new year with a Mercury Retrograde (listen, just go with it. If you’re a Virgo or Gemini you’ll understand because we get the brunt of it), we now have the rest of the month in the “post shadow.” Which really means it’s not super safe to do all that you were trying to figure out during the retrograde, but it’s safer than it was two weeks ago.

That being said~ This upcoming weekend is Lunar New Year and I’ve always enjoyed celebrating that since I consider it to be a restart to the new year. And it gives me some extra time to sort out my intentions for the rest of the month. I no longer make resolutions—I make intentions. Sounds lighter.

One of my intentions this January is to save 1 million KRW (by today’s standards that’s $807.72). I’m planning something big for 2024 and I need to save all the money I can for it. I’m excited, but also nervous. But only a normal amount of anxiety~

My next intention is to do two drop-ins at my friend’s gym. I was at my best a few years into being here and I was working out all the time. I loved my confidence and I felt very much different than I do now. I want that feeling back. And I know a lot of it is tied up into my ability to move. This is not a case of body anti-positivity or anything of that nature. This is about movement without pain.

Lastly, I have had some stuck energy in my house lately and I feel it’s been contributed by the back room of my apartment. It needs to be cleaned out and put away neatly. So I plan on doing those things .

Now I know what you must be thinking…uh…are you gonna write? Yes. Yes, I am. But I am stuck and the best way for me to get unstuck is to plan for the future, have some movement, and free myself from some of my mess.

In 2022, I did a lot of reading. It was great~ I finally finished a book challenge and that felt really wonderful. Finishing something. :) I read 13 books last year and my favorite one was Matt Haig’s The Midnight Library. It was so wonderful and fitting for a new year book.

2022 had a lot of health challenges for my loved ones, which is why in 2023, I want to be stronger to support them—mentally, physically, spiritually. There was progress in 2022, and there were setbacks. But nonetheless, we got through it, right?

All in all, I’m hopeful for 2023 and all she will bring. And I hope to write here more often.

Xox.

cm

Oh hey~

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you knew you’d burst if you didn’t get it? Of course, you have. You’re a human, after all. Well, I assume, anyway.

I knew I wanted to do a few things since I was a kid. Dance around in silly costumes, be on a stage and tell stories are a few. My youth was filled with the first, my 30s got her fill of the second, and the third has been a lifetime daydream or daymare, depending on who is telling the story. I’d always listen to these motivational quotes of “wanting it badly enough.” And if you weren’t willing to do, eat, breathe, and sleep (insert whatever said thing you’d like to achieve), then you didn’t have what it takes.

Or maybe you have crippling anxiety about getting everything you’ve ever wanted…

Hmm? No? Not you? Pardon me, then.

You. You in the back. You too? Yeah. Me too.

If you are like me, you’ve heard some pretty crushing things about your motivation (or, perhaps, lack thereof) from those who love you and mean well. The anti-motivational motivation, if you will. And I freely admit that I would become indignant at such notions. But having stepped away from pursuing my lifelong daydream/mare, I have to say that I realize I’ve spent far too much time concerned with what other people thought I should be doing. And be it a pandemic, or just really getting to understand who I am and what makes me tick….I know that I still want my daydream to be my reality. I still choose this. I’ve yearned for the time, focus, and creativity to make this more than just a figment of an overactive imagination. And the sooner I realize that every day I am given that time, the better I am.

I’ve learned to be a powerful manifestor and creator. I also know I’ve taken a year or two to do more reading—which has been quite invaluable. Because someday, I will be reading the blog of a budding writer, and she/he/they will be struggling with what I did. And then I know it will all come full circle. But until then…

Until then.

Onwards and Upwards

Greetings, Dear Readers~

What a moment we’ve been having, eh? Many people have asked what is going on with the Legends of Agria series. And to answer your questions…honestly? I don’t know. I’ve taken a long break from writing and the first two books are being re-edited, in a manner of speaking, so that it will truly be the best story it can be. As to when it will be available on Amazon, I will keep you updated as much as I can.

For now, I’ve been completely consumed with what has been going on in the world. Pandemics. Wars. Loss of rights. Trying to do the best, while wondering “is this the best we can do?” Oh such times we live in. It does make me think of Gandalf the Grey’s wise words.

“So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

New stories have been dancing around my head. Well, new but old. A story idea has recently resurfaced from when I was going to university in Chicago and I have been mapping it out in my head—I just need to get it out on paper. Or a word document. Whichever comes first. Every time I see a feather on the ground while walking my dog, I’m reminded of the first sentence I’ve written in my head. Oh the Universe and her gentle nudging of me getting back to work.

Life has a way of keeping you busy, and I have been no exception. I was promoted from teaching to managing the academy, which is great~ but I’ve learned that managing children is a lot easier than adults. ^^;; It’s been a very good experience though~ and I do enjoy the new position. I just need to figure out how to balance my writing time with my work and home life. It’s a struggle~ but a good one. Promise.

Anyway. How are you?

Two Months Left of 2020

Remember when I said I was going to have more of a presence here on this journal.

Yeah. Me too.

But then again, there has been a global pandemic. And if you’re wondering if I’ve gotten much writing done, the answer is a resounding NOPE.

This year I’ve done a lot of digging into myself as to why I haven’t been able to write. Where’s the motivation? Where’s the fire? I don’t know. Still haven’t figured it out.

I’ll have a day or two here and there where I am IN IT. I am my motivation. I have all the spark I need to set the world ablaze. But most days? I can’t manage even a puff of smoke.

I know so many other writers who have used this time to pour themselves into their craft. Me? I took this time to read. Not just my lovely concoction of self-help books and non-fic, but actual fiction. And I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that there is a story brewing inside of me. But I think that the time that I’ve had during this time of Corona, I’ve been gathering words and phrases, metaphors and courage.

The ideas haven’t left. Just my ability to schedule time to make it happen.

But I hope that all ends with the start of October. Autumn brings change—sweaters and boots. Warm spices and warmer hearts. And with any luck it will bring a change in regime. (If you’re from the States—please Vote November 3rd).

I wish you all well, wherever you are.

~CM

Mindful Ramblings and Other Such Things...

Greetings Dear Readers,

What a year January has been! Did you all feel that too? It seems 2019 wasn’t finished with us yet and has finally agreed to let us go.

After a therapeutic coffee catch up and subsequent lunch I had with one of my favorite people, we both concurred that 2020 has given us some themes to look out for—at least these things have been popping up for us. The first one is boundaries.

I’ve been doing a great program called “The Best Decade Ever” by Mel Robbins (she’s such an inspirational teacher and speaker) and it’s been nothing short of amazing. I highly recommend it if you’re willing to do the work to change your momentum in the new year (or whenever you happen to be reading this—there’s no wrong time to change your life). It lasts about 4 weeks and isn’t incredibly intensive—and it’s free. (BTW—if you’re waiting for your invitation, this is it.^^)

Anyway—one of the lessons she talks about is boundaries—and I’d be lying if I said that she’s the first person who has brought up the topic. A few weeks earlier I bought Dr. Henry Cloud’s & John Townsend’s book Boundaries, and have been listening to the audio file from Audible. A fair warning—Dr. Henry Cloud is a Christian Psychologist and he references scripture a lot, so if you’re not open to that kind of teaching then you may not enjoy the book as much. Much of the criticism I’ve read on the book has been about the fact that they both use the Bible to make their case for the need of boundaries in your life; however to be fair, if you’re reading a self-help book, you may want to do a little research on the authors to make sure it’s someone you’d trust. Dr. Cloud and Townsend’s book has been eye opening to a lot of misconceptions I had about establishing boundaries—especially the idea of a boundary being a fence with a gate and not just a wall. When it’s a wall, you don’t let people in, but you also can’t let yourself out. But when it’s a fence with a gate, you have the ability to allow the right people in, the wrong people out, and to release yourself from a self-made prison. So yeah~ boundaries keep popping up a lot.

The other theme we’ve seen thus far is life is short and time is not guaranteed. We’ve seen this already from the passing of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna, Alyssa Altobelli, John Altobelli, Keri Altobelli, Christina Mauser, Payton Chaser, Sarah Chester, and Ara Zobayan. This terrible tragedy that took nine lives has left a lot of people shocked, devastated, and reeling with emotions. And yes, people do die every day—and their deaths aren’t any less important, but it’s a strong reminder that life is a vapor—here today and gone tomorrow. The hope is to leave a legacy that you can be proud of, but no one ever knows when your time is up. So live life to the fullest—dream big—love hard. Find gratitude in each day—even on the days when you can’t seem to find anything to be thankful for—because it you never know when it’s all going to be over. Make amends, and try to find a little bit of happiness each day. Hold fast hope.

There’s a lot of things out there that will try to rob you of your joy—some are people, some are situations. But by implementing those boundaries, you’ll be better equipped to continue your journey, for as long as you’re on your journey.

Love & Light,

CM

Books I’m reading:

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & John Townsend

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Manhattan Beach by Jennifer Egan

Songs I’m listening to:

Beggars by Thrice

Koop Island Blues by Koop

Jealous by Labrinth

Happy New Year~ Happy New Me! *and other clichés

Greetings, Dear Readers~

Warning: The following is a huge brain dump. Sometimes it just needs to happen. Proceed with the knowledge that things might not exactly be the best writing you’ve ever read—but also be okay with that. Because I am. ^^

I hope this all finds you healthy and prosperous. 2020 has definitely had some weird vibes thus far, but all in all I feel very positive about it.

We’re 23 days into the new year, and just a few days away from Lunar New Year—Year of the Metal Rat. I can’t help but think of a pudgy rodent in a Metallica shirt with long hair watching Headbangers’ Ball (is that aging me?).

Apparently the rat is the kickoff of the Chinese Zodiac and for that, it is a year of new beginnings and renewals. Allegedly it will be a prosperous year for all the signs (even little ol’ sheep like me). Now why does this even matter? I like to think about zodiacs of all flavors because I find them interesting. And I love luck! Do we create our own luck? Sure! Do we also have Divine Intervention? Of course! Who doesn’t like to hear good things or things to watch out for? Well, I actually know a few people who just don’t want to know—but that’s just who they’re wired to be~

Anyway~ anything that tells me that I’m going to have a prosperous year in creating is going to be make me feel more secure—especially as a writer. In the past, I spent so much time doubting my ability to create—even after I finished writing the first book. I listened to a lot of criticism from people who thought they understood the creative process of a writer when I should’ve tuned it out. This aided a full on downward spiral into depression. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t create. And I didn’t want to live.

I wouldn’t have been able to talk to you (or anyone for that matter) about this in the past—but I’m free to now because I have come through the other side. Depression, coupled with critical self-doubt is a creation killer—and before I made the moves to get healthy about it, I would just look at a blank word doc and not feel anything. I felt so disconnected from the process that the thought of expressing myself though writing filled me with anxiety.

So what happened? How did the third act begin?

Well, I first went to the doctor—amid an array of health situations I was gifted, one of them was a Vitamin D deficiency. Once I started taking two vitamin D pills, my depression lifted like a curtain on opening night. There was a renewed hope. Next—I forgave those people and their hurtful words—I have to believe that it was never their intention to hurt me, but their way of motivation is not my way. And I don’t stay in contact with those individuals anymore. Mel Robbins says that people are with you for a reason, a season, and a lifetime. They are not lifetime people—which is okay~ they don’t have to be. They are still wonderful people but we’ve all moved on, and we’re better people for it. Lastly, I stopped putting pressure on myself to write in a linear fashion and just decided to start anywhere. So I did. And I wrote about 15 pages.

I’ve also come up with a schedule to keep myself accountable—and I am being more flexible with myself on what it is that I write—it could be for the story or it could be here. As long as I am writing. A friend gifted a book about creators and their schedules and it’s one of my bathroom books. I always thumb through it and look for the writers I admire and see how they made their schedules work for them. Granted, many of them were married, had the support of a spouse, and didn’t have a full time job. But they made their schedule. And I did too~ The only difference in the schedule I created for myself this time ( from the ones I had made in the past) is that I am giving myself a 2 hour window every weekday—and in my bullet journal, I write a check mark for when I accomplish my goal, and a “1/2” for when I try but stare at the screen. No matter what, I still have to sit down.

So this is it. The new Me. She’s happier. She’s honest. She’s creating. Happy 2020!

Love, Light, and Rats~

CM

Climbing and Climbing

Greetings friends~

Things have been quite busy on the formatting side of the novel and we are nearing completion and (finally!) publication of the first in the Agrian Legends series! Emotions I’m feeling? Excited—nervous—everything in between.

This is something I’ve been working at for so long that it almost doesn’t seem real. Perhaps it won’t feel real until I am holding a physical copy in my hands. Perhaps it will never feel real. And I’m rather at peace with that.

I’ve had a few days off from my academy so I’ve spent a good majority of that time dreaming up new plot lines and imagining my life as this—no “work,” just writing. I must say the idea both scares me and thrills me. Another writer friend of mine and I were talking once about the concept of knowing when we’ve “made it.” I revealed to him that I hope I never know that I’ve made it—I always want to keep going and not rest on my laurels. Though, it will be nice to be wearing laurels as I keep ascending. ^^

In the meantime, I should get back to the storyboard.

Love, light, and all that jazz~

CM

Do you have time for a backstory?

Hello, Dearest Readers~

In my last update to you, I mentioned that the first installment of the Agria series would be released soon~ and yes, it’s still happening. ^^ I got word that it will happen in 2019. The new lunar new year for 2019, also known as The Year of the Golden Pig, is going to be the year to launch new projects and will be THE luck year. So that is comforting. ^^

But I suppose with the release of the new book, it’s time to give you the backstory of how this all kind of came about.

I started teaching at my current English language institute here in Seoul, South Korea back in December of 2010. While I had always been a writer and a poet, I often went through dry spells where there just wasn’t anything creative within me. About six months into the teaching gig, I was finally able to write a little something, and I felt bold enough to tell my boss and the curriculum director about it, Ben and Lee.

It was then when Ben and Lee found out that I enjoyed writing and they asked me if I could write them a story for an educational app they’d been working on. It centered around teaching young kids how to read English in a storybook type app. They gave me the particulars and off I went. They had been having trouble writing stories about an Asian adoptee kid named JW. So, I wrote a story about how JW solved a mystery in his neighborhood in NYC. They liked it and asked for more. The app would also feature a card game that the kids could play—sort of like those popular games where the player has monsters in their “arsenal,” and they have them battle. Anyway~

Soon we started meeting more and more about the story, and for the first time, I felt really invigorated about my writing. The character of JW was developing nicely, and we added in a sister for him—Jane. After writing a few stories about JW solving some kid-type mysteries, the question was posed, “Where is this exactly going?”

At a meeting at Ben’s place in Gangnam, the ProtoStar guys—(Ben, Lee, and Jeff) and I talked about it, and the notion of a novel was brought up. And while I had always wanted to write a novel, I wondered if I had it in me… so I was asked to come up with a backstory, and by our next meeting, I had the basic skeleton that would become the Agria series. JW and Jane then became much more than characters who solved mysteries. They became the heroes of a story that would link two worlds.

Linking worlds has always been the most fantastic feature of writing and reading. Sparking connection between something seemingly fictional and something true to a reader’s life has always been my goal—because life, as I see it, is universal. There are things that we all face—rejection, betrayal, feelings of not being good enough, love, happiness, hope.

When JW and Jane were solving mysteries, they were Asian adopted kids living in America. As I began writing about them, I didn’t want them to lose their identities, so I kept them as adoptees. While working at my English institute in Seoul, I have been blessed to meet so many of the Korean Adoptee community, and while JW and Jane are indeed adopted kids, that’s only a part of who they are. As a non-adoptee, I have always been very conscious of the idea that persons of color and adoptees should be the ones telling their story. And I still believe this to be true. However, I also know that the themes in the Agria series are much broader than any one particular genre or identity. Aside from that, two of the core members of ProtoStar are Korean Adoptees, and they were always helpful in guiding me through the process of writing about more of the details of life as an adoptee.

Welcome to the world, Jane and JW! Your destiny awaits!

Love and Light,

CM

Updates and the Like

Greetings dear Readers,

I’m often asked how long the writing process was in writing my first novel. Perhaps it’s easier to count the droplets of blood. Kidding…not really. But yes, kidding.

I started writing the first book of the Agria series close to seven years ago. And for the first five of those seven were spent writing, rewriting, deleting, editing, and probably crying. I’ve often said that editing was perhaps the hardest thing for me and while I was serious about becoming a better writer, it was often easy to become distracted. I’m so thankful for my editor, Mee Joo Rose, who stood by me and always saw my potential. I don’t know what I would have done without her.

Now that the first book is finally going to be published soon, I am in a state of gratitude. This is honestly something I knew would happen one day, but now that it’s almost here, I almost can’t believe it.

I want to thank everyone who has been on this journey with me. Thank you for keeping me focused, and for letting me unwind. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Now for the particulars~ I haven’t been given a date as of yet, but I will keep you updated. ^^

I have just finished writing a final scene for the second installment of the Agria series, and when I finish polishing that up, it will be time to get back to the third book. I have it all mapped out; it just has to be written. ^^

In other news~

As for what I’m reading now, I’m still making progress on Invisible Man by Ellison, and I was gifted a copy of David Sedaris’ new book Calypso for my birthday from my dear friend Elizabeth. I still have a few other books in the queue, but I think I might bump up Sedaris’ book to the second position~ I love his writing, and he always makes me laugh.

I am a firm believer that if you can find a source of laughter, hold onto it. When I lived in the States, I would often look at greeting cards that made me laugh and keep them for the days when I needed to find a reason to smile. Korea is not really a country that does greeting cards in the humorous sort of fashion, so I miss that. I suppose that’s what we have memes for though, right? And I do have a few memes saved on my phone if I need a chuckle or two.

I hope you’re smiling wherever you are, and if you’re not, find a meme or a funny card in a store~find your joy.

L&L~

CM

A Revamping of Sorts

Hi, Readers~

So I have been working hard at revamping the site, and while it's not entirely done yet, I'm pretty happy the way things are going. 

Many of you know that I am also a teacher in Korea and I've recently been promoted to researching and developing curriculum for our higher level students--we're reading books like Austen's Pride and Prejudice and Bronte's Jane Eyre. Aside from developing curriculum and teaching, I have been editing two novels for my students that I've taught. 

Editing my own writing is incredibly daunting but equally necessary--but editing someone else's work has taken a lot of my time too. Happily, all that is finished and I can focus back on my own writing. If you have an editor, make sure you tell them how much you appreciate them. If you know an editor, buy him or her a coffee/tea. They often go unappreciated. 

As for my own writing, I've been putting the finishing touches on a final scene for my second book while still writing my third book. It's been a pretty painful process as things have been so busy, but things are moving along now. 

The final update I have for you is that for the past five weeks I have been volunteering for a group called Stella Foundation who are working to end the stigma of suicide and depression in Korea. This is an issue that is very close to my hear. The World Health Organization says that over 300 million people of all ages suffer from depression all over the world. So the chances of you knowing someone with depression, affected by depression, or you've been depressed yourself.  Mental health awareness is something that is very near and dear to my heart and one of the reasons that I feel I have been called to be a writer--to let people know that they are not alone. When you're alone, that's when the darkness creeps in--telling you-you're not good enough. And suddenly you're sitting alone in a movie theatre where there is a reel tape of every mistake you've ever made being played on repeat. So if you can be a light to someone, be a light. If you need a light, remember that it's okay to ask for one. And it's okay not to be okay.

As far as what I'm currently reading, I'm reading Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man. I am not too far into it, but man is he ever a storyteller. I have wanted to read his work for a while, and when I was in the bookstore a few weeks ago, I decided to pick it up. 

That's all, for now, ~ I'll update you on the release date of my first novel as soon as I know! 

Love & Light,

CM

Week One Done!

Hello, Dear Readers~

In an effort to connect more with you all, I am making a valiant effort to post more on the journal and update you all on what I'm writing/thinking/feeling/living.

It's now Saturday afternoon in Seoul and I am happy that I'm meeting my writing goals. The hardest part of being a working writer is to schedule in time for doing what you love. Sometimes I will just sit there and stare at the screen with an eyebrow cocked while thinking, "What am I dooooooing?" But it's all apart of the process. The point is that you are making the effort to sit down. The intention is set and inspiration will come. 

One thing I enjoy doing is making a playlist before I start writing. It's always great to set the mood before you start working. Even as I write this, I have my headphones on with Agnes Obel's album "Aventine" playing. Two of my very good friends, Steve and Andy, have recently started sharing one new song (a weekish) that we've found to be pretty amazing and that we think the others may not have heard. Living in the land of K-Pop limits me a lot (and I do like K-Pop) but I simply don't have the access to music like I did when I was in college in Chicago. These days you have to work for things. In case you were wondering, my submission to Steve and Andy was a song called "To Build a Home" by The Cinematic Orchestra feat. Patrick Watson. The piano parts  just swell and feel so, well, for a lack of a better term "cinematic" and creates just such a beautiful song. The video is actually pretty sad, so if you find it on YouTube, make sure some tissues are nearby.

I hope your first week of 2018 has been productive and that you keep making, as Neil Gaiman says, "Good Art."

Love and light,

CM.

The 2017 Wrap Up

As the world is putting the finishing touches on 2017, I am happy to end this year on a high note. There were many challenges that we all faced in 2017, but I'd like to believe that we faced such adversity with ferocity and have left the battlefield with our morals and hope still intact. 

On the novel front, I've received word that things are moving quite along and we are set for a Spring 2018 release! I am beyond excited for this, as it has been quite a while since I've finished the book~ but honestly, good things take time. I think that we have this idea that writers are supposed to turn out books quickly, but just as a gestation period of a human takes nine months, the creation of written work has its own gestation period as well. And it's not generally nine months. ^~^

I've been planning away at the third installment of the Agria series, and have even been writing some poetry that I'm pretty excited about. Being an ex-pat in Korea, it is important to find like-minded people so that you can create your family away from your family~ and while my writing people back in Chicago are doing well, I have been working with my Seoul writing family to bring about an anthology of poetry, creative non-fiction, and fiction with Seoul as the central theme. Without trying to sound to egotistical~ we all have this romantic idea of being the new Lost Generation (think Stein, Hemingway, the Fitzgeralds, and T.S. Elliot). Honestly, we don't humor ourselves as being equal to their greatness, but everyone starts somewhere, right? The Lost Generation writers were these ex-pats living in Paris after WWI and they put forth some of the greatest literature. 

We are still in the submission stages of this project, so I'll keep you updated on that, as well as when it will be available for purchase. 

I still have yet to make my new year's resolutions, but I have certainly set my intentions for the year. I hope you give yourself the time to do the same.

Until we meet again in 2018.

Love and Light.

CM

Soon~

Hello my dear readers,

I hope you're all quite well. As many of you are well aware, I live in Seoul, Korea (in the Gangnam area to be exact--though less Oppa and more Style ^^) and while in the rest of the world tensions seem to be riding high, things here are business as usual. 

If we were to engage in a personal conversation, I would certainly tell you how I feel about all things political, but as I am writing on my author site, I would sooner discuss the politics of Agria, the fictional setting in my fantasy novel.

You see, Agria was always in balance until a self-proclaimed Dragon King (I affectionally(?) call him DK) created a new area, The Shadow Realm, in the center of the land, throwing the whole land in turmoil. While it seems that one mere being would be no match for the four leaders of the Agrian Realms--i.e. Forest, Air, Water, and Fire, he seems to be gaining traction in his war against Agrians. 

This is merely one of the subplots of the Legends of Agria book series. Want more? You can pick up the first installment of the series soon! 

Love & Light,

~CM

Traveling at the Speed of Life

Recently I received the phone call that every person who lives overseas dreads.

It starts with a friendly "Hello."

And the next sentence is one of those that needs to be repeated, not because you didn't hear it, but because you didn't believe it. "________________ is in an ambulance and heading to the hospital."

It matters not who is in that blank, but for me, it was my older (by 20 months) sister. And your world becomes darker and a little more medical--you're learning words that would definitely help you win at Scrabble. Everyone get's their online degree from Web MD and you struggle with the term "visiting hours."

Luckily, my story has a happy ending. One in which my sister lives and while we are still searching for answers as to why this happened, the new chapters of insurance coverage and fine print have begun. 

To be brief, my sister suffered from low potassium (she has for years) and it caused a condition called hypokalemia (25 points on it's own in Scrabble...imagine if you hit the triple word!). This condition caused her heart to stop. Couple this with the walking pneumonia she didn't know she had, and you have a perfect storm. 

Why am I telling you this? I don't really know. Perhaps it is because life is short and I realize that I spend too much of mine not doing what I really want. Seeing my sister in a hospital bed really shook me. My dream has always been to connect to people through my words, to help them feel like they are not alone. This is how books saved my life, and how I want to return the favor. 

So with renewed commitment, I am happy to tell you all that I am nearly finished with the second book of the Agria series and have already started on the third. You're going to find more answers in these later books and I cannot wait for you to read them.

With all the Love & light that I possess,

CM

Getting Closer!

Hello Dear Readers,

Things have been moving so quickly lately and I am so sorry I haven't updated you sooner. I've been busy working on the third installment of the Agria series. Yes~ you read that correctly! The third book! 

As it stands now, the first book will be released this summer! It has been such a long time coming and I am so excited to have you all read the first installment of this series. 

The Agria series started out as something completely different--as most things do. ^~^ What started out as an app to help young students learn English, turned into something much larger than I could have ever imagined. I am so incredibly grateful for ProtoStar Studios for everything they've given to me as a writer and as a human. I'm blessed to have such a great team. ^~^ 

I'll be doing a Q&A journal entry soon, so please look out for that. 

Until then, Dear Readers~

Love & Light to you all,

CM

Cold hands, Warmer Hearts

Life has been pretty busy in Seoul lately, and just like the snow that is currently falling, it shows no signs of slowing down any time soon. It has given me cold hands, but an equally warm heart.

I've been plotting away at the new novel, and have been working with my team on the finalization of the first installment of the Legends of Agria series. It's been quite an experience for my first book but it has certainly solidified my goals in what I want to do with my writing. 

Aside from book plotting, and teaching, I have recently been asked to be the editor for a new magazine in Seoul called Nexcite-City Magazine. It's a brand new adventure as I have never had much to do with the publication sector of writing, save for writing a magazine article once. I have to say, it's a lot of hard work but very rewarding to be working with such amazing individuals.

As far as what I'm reading now, I'm getting back into reading Octavia Butler's Dawn (the first in the Xenogenesis series). I read her book, Kindred back in college and found her work to be amazing. Teaching younger students has given me the opportunity to read younger material, some of which inspired me to write for a young adult audience. But it's been a while since I've been able to read for pleasure and I'm soaking this in. I hope you're soaking in some good books too.  ^^

That's all for this month~ I'll check back in soon. 

Love and Light,

CM